Saturday, April 17, 2010
chapter 1 - misery
2 years before.
Danielle opened her eyes. Her thoughts were always in a flurry in the mornings; the spinning blades of the ceiling fan bolted above her didn't help much either. She closed her eyes again, her thoughts focused on him this time. Her fingers crept towards his side on the bed, trying to get a feel of him. She knew better though, he wasn't going to be there; he never was.
She then rested her fingers on her eyes, trying to adjust her eyes to the sunlight that was about to hit them. The duvet that kept her warm during the last winter were still on the bed, unwashed and unkempt. She never really had time to clean up after herself really, as he was constantly on her mind. It was as if he was a virus of sorts, eating away into her thoughts, killing the good memories they shared together and replacing them with sorrowful entries that would often make her weep.
She managed to pull herself to the closet. As she yanked the door open, she noticed a pale figure staring back at her. It had a pale and almost anemic skin with rings around its eyes that could only sum up that it had a really poor sleep, mostly due to the fact that it had been crying itself to sleep. Danielle began to comb her hair, refusing to believe that it was in fact her own reflection that she was staring at. It was a boost of confidence, to her at least, that she wasn't going to be a girl trapped in her own feelings, but a girl, unlike others, that is going to accept the fate that she had chosen.
She removed her sleeping robe, put her hands on her waist and realized that her feelings for him had even taken a toll on her health, as she was few stones lighter than she was when she first laid her eyes on him. She paced herself towards the shower, turned it on, and stepped inside. The bath was exactly what she needed. To her, it felt as it the sudden chill of the rushing water cleared all her insecurities and her doubts.
She stepped out of the shower, and looked at herself at the bathroom mirror.
"You're back," she whispered, as she placed her hand on the countertop
"How'd you know it was me?" he replied, resting his back on the bathroom door.
She turned her head, and stared at him. He looked a lot different than usual, but his gaze at her seemed familiar and comfortable.
"Your eyes give you away."
"So does your lips, my love."
She ran towards him, her thoughts provoked by his return. She leaped on to him, and wrapped her legs around his unfamiliar waist, and kissed him. He held her close to his chest, and as he kissed her neck, whispered into her ears,
"I love you".
Her heart thumped the same way it did back when she first fell in love with him. Danielle knew that no other man could make her feel the way she did every time he returned. It was like falling in love all over again, and it felt amazing.
Danielle opened her eyes. Her thoughts were always in a flurry in the mornings; the spinning blades of the ceiling fan bolted above her didn't help much either. She closed her eyes again, her thoughts focused on him this time. Her fingers crept towards his side on the bed, trying to get a feel of him. She knew better though, he wasn't going to be there; he never was.
She then rested her fingers on her eyes, trying to adjust her eyes to the sunlight that was about to hit them. The duvet that kept her warm during the last winter were still on the bed, unwashed and unkempt. She never really had time to clean up after herself really, as he was constantly on her mind. It was as if he was a virus of sorts, eating away into her thoughts, killing the good memories they shared together and replacing them with sorrowful entries that would often make her weep.
She managed to pull herself to the closet. As she yanked the door open, she noticed a pale figure staring back at her. It had a pale and almost anemic skin with rings around its eyes that could only sum up that it had a really poor sleep, mostly due to the fact that it had been crying itself to sleep. Danielle began to comb her hair, refusing to believe that it was in fact her own reflection that she was staring at. It was a boost of confidence, to her at least, that she wasn't going to be a girl trapped in her own feelings, but a girl, unlike others, that is going to accept the fate that she had chosen.
She removed her sleeping robe, put her hands on her waist and realized that her feelings for him had even taken a toll on her health, as she was few stones lighter than she was when she first laid her eyes on him. She paced herself towards the shower, turned it on, and stepped inside. The bath was exactly what she needed. To her, it felt as it the sudden chill of the rushing water cleared all her insecurities and her doubts.
She stepped out of the shower, and looked at herself at the bathroom mirror.
"You're back," she whispered, as she placed her hand on the countertop
"How'd you know it was me?" he replied, resting his back on the bathroom door.
She turned her head, and stared at him. He looked a lot different than usual, but his gaze at her seemed familiar and comfortable.
"Your eyes give you away."
"So does your lips, my love."
She ran towards him, her thoughts provoked by his return. She leaped on to him, and wrapped her legs around his unfamiliar waist, and kissed him. He held her close to his chest, and as he kissed her neck, whispered into her ears,
"I love you".
Her heart thumped the same way it did back when she first fell in love with him. Danielle knew that no other man could make her feel the way she did every time he returned. It was like falling in love all over again, and it felt amazing.
what did i do so wrong that you had to leave me alone ... at 2:09 AM
0 people in the crowd heard my words
0 people in the crowd heard my words
prologue to misery
She stood there motionless; her eyes began to tear. She couldn't help herself, there was nothing she could do that could have saved her from what was to come. He was leaving, and this time, she knew that it would be the last time she would ever lay her eyes on him.
"Dont go", she whispered, "Please, just don't".
He kept on walking; each step shredding every bit of memory they once shared. She remained static, hoping he would turn around just once and look at her. She was willing to sacrifice everything just to go back to the time when everything seemed simple.
Please..
She watched him walk away slowly, like an ethereal figure into the darkness. Her instincts told her to run after him, but alas, her legs felt like it was bolted to the ground; numb and lifeless. She looked up at the dark sky and in silence, cursed her very existence. The sky, as if sympathetic to her, began to tear as well, and craftily washed away her tears.
How could it get any worse than this...
Her heart began to race as the memories played in her head. She clenched her fist and knelt on the ground, begging for the pain to stop. She then drew her fist to her chest, pounding it furiously. The sudden movement drew all her energy away in an instant. It was useless now, her arms couldn't stop her forehead from resting on the ground.
Her eyes still open, she used every ounce of energy she had to search for any glimpse of him on Misery Avenue, but he was long gone, and so was the little drawing they scribbled together on the curb when they first met on the same street a year ago. She closed her eyes.
Rest in Peace, Danielle Stevens.
Can't seem to hold you like I want to
So I can feel you in my arms.
Nobody's gonna come and save you,
We pulled too many false alarms.
"Dont go", she whispered, "Please, just don't".
He kept on walking; each step shredding every bit of memory they once shared. She remained static, hoping he would turn around just once and look at her. She was willing to sacrifice everything just to go back to the time when everything seemed simple.
Please..
She watched him walk away slowly, like an ethereal figure into the darkness. Her instincts told her to run after him, but alas, her legs felt like it was bolted to the ground; numb and lifeless. She looked up at the dark sky and in silence, cursed her very existence. The sky, as if sympathetic to her, began to tear as well, and craftily washed away her tears.
How could it get any worse than this...
Her heart began to race as the memories played in her head. She clenched her fist and knelt on the ground, begging for the pain to stop. She then drew her fist to her chest, pounding it furiously. The sudden movement drew all her energy away in an instant. It was useless now, her arms couldn't stop her forehead from resting on the ground.
Her eyes still open, she used every ounce of energy she had to search for any glimpse of him on Misery Avenue, but he was long gone, and so was the little drawing they scribbled together on the curb when they first met on the same street a year ago. She closed her eyes.
Rest in Peace, Danielle Stevens.
Can't seem to hold you like I want to
So I can feel you in my arms.
Nobody's gonna come and save you,
We pulled too many false alarms.
what did i do so wrong that you had to leave me alone ... at 1:47 AM
0 people in the crowd heard my words
0 people in the crowd heard my words
