Sunday, January 15, 2006

College and my problems!

College is tommorow..but thank God its only till 2! after that ive got driving sucks but..i need to get my licence! always seen it as a point where my social barrier would be finally broken..and I really hope it does..Daniel..if you see this'd understand wad i mean. Since my school days(primary), I was able to communicate and chat freely with the opposite gender i.e girls. But ever since secondary, I can't seem to be that way. Everytime I see a girl, and feel like basically look at the floor. I just can't do it! And mum..shes strict as hell..she doesnt like me talkin 2 girls..that makes up for my social barrier.Everytime I pick up my handset, she asks me WHO IS THAT? If i say its a girl, shed say CUT THE LINE, if i said it was a guy, WHY IS HE CALLIN YOU? IS HE GAY? So I've been in denial basically from the start. I remember last year, when i called my good fren Po Yee(a girl) to wish her New Years, I had to actually go outside the house, near my backdoor and speak! LOL! And yes! I WAS IN A TUX(suit)!joke isn't it? Besides that, when i see a chinese girl, insecurity creeps inside me, I become wayyy shy(actually im a chatterbox). Im scared wheter shed feel uneasy talkin to me. DARN! this is just the beginning! I just cant bring my self to talk!
God knows my problem! I need help! Well, there are more emotional scarring that Ive gone thru in my life that made me this way. Close friends knew how much i loved this girl, who just used me and threw me. Well, all i can say is thanks, you ruined me! I need a friend, who i can confide in, who shares my feelings, and take me to newer grounds. Lots of my friends would say Im preety good in talkin to girls. But I know, i only could talk 2 them if ive been close to them from the beginning or ive been chattin thru sms or msn! If there was a situation where i was stuck with a girl in the elevator for hours, I still wouldnt be able to speak to her! Well, i need help! HELP!

what did i do so wrong that you had to leave me alone ... at 4:04 PM
0 people in the crowd heard my words

The Lover

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