Sunday, March 18, 2007
Hum Halleluyah.
This is an emo post and entirely fictional and was not meant to hurt anyone, I swear. Readers beware, may cause nausea and the usual lovey-dovey emotions in a instant. This post is for your reading pleasure, please do NOT copy nor redistribute it. I wrote this with every feeling that echoes in my empty heart. Thank you.
"I could write it better than you ever felt it," Fall Out Boys.
-------------
She stood in front of me, eyes fastened on my already motionless pupils. My eyes, my mind, my thoughts, everything, was for her, and for her only. There was never a moment in my life that I stood agape, wondering if things were for the better now.
The year was fresh, nevertheless cumbersome for a guy like me. 19 years I have lived, and not once, had I ever felt this lonely. Imagine that, a guy like me, to have no one to live for, no one to share my experiences with, no one to be there by my side, no one to call my own. I had to choose between sorrow, and happyness; I chose the latter. However, attaining happiness is no childs play.
Combining my inner strength and the hope, the will, and the superficial soul, the one that I never had to begin with; I entered the labor-force for the first time. It all started like a veil of uncertainty covering a empty plain; with no remorse nor a shadow of doubt. Days passed on; every single day eating time like it were ants on a hill of sugar. I was doing fine. I was doing much better than I was to begin with.
Surely I had made a mistake to think this was how it was going to be till the end.
Seing her clad in her own unique sense of style, made me wonder, is she really all that? Does she not care about the people around her, the ever looking eyes of evil and deception? Of deceit, dillemma and perils? Somehow I envied her, heavenly and yet down to earth as she may seem, she was warm. The warmth of a woman I had hungered for so long. The tender, soft-spokenness of an angel. I wanted her more. I wanted her to cure the scars, the pain, and the void that has left me insecure.
I wanted her, I needed her, I had to have her, I couldn't live without her, I couldn't breathe without her, I just couldn't do without her, although I couldn't have her, nor I didn't have her.
The first day we exchanged words would mark a long but memorable lapse of time. A bright sunny day to commemorate this happy meet. Halleluyah, I would hum, if I had the second chance to relive that day. It was meant to be that we began becoming more and more drawn to each other. I wanted to spend every day, every second, every tear, laugh, and pain with her; to become her tail.
Weeks passed, this time, slower than I had anticipated. Somehow, I treasured life, and all it had to offer, in greater depths than I used to. Was this feeling love? The burning sensation that I felt every time I took a breath? Is this image burned in my heart really her? Is this what Romeo and Juliet died for? I was ready to do the same, for her, and for everything she believed in.
I loved her more than life itself. Every day I'd look at my cellphone, waiting for a hint, or rather an sms, to show that she really did believe in me, in us, and for us. It was special what we had, we believed in us, with every single cell of blood flowing in our every vein and arteries. Unique in a sense that I know knew someone breathes for me, and I for her.
Every word reminded me of her. Every single time I opened my eyes, there she stood, with her calming, soothing aura than I reckon was the end to all pain. There was nothing compared to having her close by, to have held her hand, to have her sit next to me, her delicate skin against my coarse, rough beast-like hand.And from having her sleep next to me, to watch her calm face that made everything worthwhile; to having her lay on my chest, to hear the heart that beats and pumps blood into my veins for her; to holding her in my arms, as wished time would just freeze and shatter all inanimate existence, except ours. Imagine being in total solitude, but having just one more soul around and in you, forever yours. Imagine being lonely, just the two of us, in a crowded room. Imagine not living for anyone else, but just for us, and for us alone. Imagine not caring for anything other than the significant other. Imagine....
It was heaven, 7th heaven as I would say. But my words weighed no more than a grain of unworthy sand on a beach. In this unforgiving world, only what they say carried weight, and they said 'All good things must come to an end'.
It ended as soon as it begun. As fast as wild fire spread across numerous dried and withered trees. Somehow, it just wasn't meant to be. Feelings, yet again they say, comes easy, and goes hard.
Thanks for the memories. Halleluyah, I'll have to carry on without you.
"I could write it better than you ever felt it," Fall Out Boys.
-------------
She stood in front of me, eyes fastened on my already motionless pupils. My eyes, my mind, my thoughts, everything, was for her, and for her only. There was never a moment in my life that I stood agape, wondering if things were for the better now.
The year was fresh, nevertheless cumbersome for a guy like me. 19 years I have lived, and not once, had I ever felt this lonely. Imagine that, a guy like me, to have no one to live for, no one to share my experiences with, no one to be there by my side, no one to call my own. I had to choose between sorrow, and happyness; I chose the latter. However, attaining happiness is no childs play.
Combining my inner strength and the hope, the will, and the superficial soul, the one that I never had to begin with; I entered the labor-force for the first time. It all started like a veil of uncertainty covering a empty plain; with no remorse nor a shadow of doubt. Days passed on; every single day eating time like it were ants on a hill of sugar. I was doing fine. I was doing much better than I was to begin with.
Surely I had made a mistake to think this was how it was going to be till the end.
Seing her clad in her own unique sense of style, made me wonder, is she really all that? Does she not care about the people around her, the ever looking eyes of evil and deception? Of deceit, dillemma and perils? Somehow I envied her, heavenly and yet down to earth as she may seem, she was warm. The warmth of a woman I had hungered for so long. The tender, soft-spokenness of an angel. I wanted her more. I wanted her to cure the scars, the pain, and the void that has left me insecure.
I wanted her, I needed her, I had to have her, I couldn't live without her, I couldn't breathe without her, I just couldn't do without her, although I couldn't have her, nor I didn't have her.
The first day we exchanged words would mark a long but memorable lapse of time. A bright sunny day to commemorate this happy meet. Halleluyah, I would hum, if I had the second chance to relive that day. It was meant to be that we began becoming more and more drawn to each other. I wanted to spend every day, every second, every tear, laugh, and pain with her; to become her tail.
Weeks passed, this time, slower than I had anticipated. Somehow, I treasured life, and all it had to offer, in greater depths than I used to. Was this feeling love? The burning sensation that I felt every time I took a breath? Is this image burned in my heart really her? Is this what Romeo and Juliet died for? I was ready to do the same, for her, and for everything she believed in.
I loved her more than life itself. Every day I'd look at my cellphone, waiting for a hint, or rather an sms, to show that she really did believe in me, in us, and for us. It was special what we had, we believed in us, with every single cell of blood flowing in our every vein and arteries. Unique in a sense that I know knew someone breathes for me, and I for her.
Every word reminded me of her. Every single time I opened my eyes, there she stood, with her calming, soothing aura than I reckon was the end to all pain. There was nothing compared to having her close by, to have held her hand, to have her sit next to me, her delicate skin against my coarse, rough beast-like hand.And from having her sleep next to me, to watch her calm face that made everything worthwhile; to having her lay on my chest, to hear the heart that beats and pumps blood into my veins for her; to holding her in my arms, as wished time would just freeze and shatter all inanimate existence, except ours. Imagine being in total solitude, but having just one more soul around and in you, forever yours. Imagine being lonely, just the two of us, in a crowded room. Imagine not living for anyone else, but just for us, and for us alone. Imagine not caring for anything other than the significant other. Imagine....
It was heaven, 7th heaven as I would say. But my words weighed no more than a grain of unworthy sand on a beach. In this unforgiving world, only what they say carried weight, and they said 'All good things must come to an end'.
It ended as soon as it begun. As fast as wild fire spread across numerous dried and withered trees. Somehow, it just wasn't meant to be. Feelings, yet again they say, comes easy, and goes hard.
Thanks for the memories. Halleluyah, I'll have to carry on without you.
what did i do so wrong that you had to leave me alone ... at 11:40 PM
0 people in the crowd heard my words
0 people in the crowd heard my words
